Monday, February 4, 2013

Dog Survival Guide

Dear Gabby,

I read your book and am happy to say that I have it good. Or rather, HAD it good. My problems started when I took you advice and left the book in the reading room so they could see how great I am compared to some of your garbage-eating furniture-chewing readers.

Every Dog's Survival Guide to Living With a Neurotic Owner by Steve Duno

They read the wrong parts of the book! Suddenly there are no more offers of delicious food from the table. My "starving dog" look doesn't work. Even sure-fire tricks such as resting my chin on a leg or cute vocalizations are getting NOTHING!

Today I found myself on-leash after being slow to come. I was really was planning to come when I was done investigating a gopher hole. And worst of all, I have to sleep in a bed on the floor, not the soft and warm king-size I am used to.

Life is still great, but I am not feeling like the queen anymore. What can I do to reclaim my position as leader of the pack?

1 comment:

  1. Poor Maggie. You can come chase squirrels and sleep on my bed if you want. I'm afraid I have to have the leash -- city ordinance -- but we can go out to the horse farm down the road and you can run with abandon across the paddocks.